Can you at least promise me this? No matter what happens on your journey, don't try to do anything... out of your league. Please.
Oh, Ilia, you'd be amazed what Link can do... he's destined for much greater things than delivering a gift to Hyrule Castle.
Anyway, since last time much Plot has happened. I'd forgotten just how much plot Twilight Princess throws at you - Ilia and Colin have been captured by some Bulbins, the land has been covered in twilight, Link's been turned into a wolf and also been captured, met Midna, escaped, met Zelda, escaped some more, sneaked a sword and shield out of Ordon Village, restored the light spirit of Faron, and turned back into a human.
Oh, and I've discovered that Link's actually not a simple rancher but the hero chosen by the goddesses to save Hyrule. All that in an hour or so of gameplay.
So, don't you think you should explain to him what you've managed to do? You owe him that much... Twilight Princess!
One of the earlier teaser trailers for the original release of TP had Zelda in her hooded robe, Link transforming into a wolf, and Link with a hawk. There's a lot of similarity here with the film Ladyhawke, in which [Spoiler (click to open)]a couple have been cursed such that the man is a wolf by night and the woman a hawk by day. So the internet speculated that TP would have a similar plot, and that the wolf is Link and the hawk was Zelda (reportedly there's also a manga called "Twilight Princess" - unrelated to the Zelda game - that does follow the plot of Ladyhawke...). The internet was half right - Link does indeed become a wolf, but Zelda never transforms, and the plot of TP turned out to be completely different to that of Ladyhawke. It's amusing to see this sort of speculation re-appear with the upcoming Breath of the Wild, where one blog I follow has picked up on similarities between that and the Princess Mononoke film...
With TP the other thing that the internet picked up on is the black robe Zelda wears is a traditional Japanese mourning robe. Here the internet was correct, as Zelda is indeed in mourning for Hyrule, which has been plunged into perpetual Twilight as a consequence of her surrendering to Zant. Yes, this is another Zelda game where everything's broken and it's at least partly the protagonists fault. Fortunately it's not quite on the same scale of Ocarina of Time - no ReDeads in Castle Town here, just a population completely oblivious to the impending doom.
After the doom and gloom that is the meeting with Zelda (which does not go with Enya), it's back to Ordon Village. Unfortunately I'm still a wolf, which makes the next part a bit trickier as Midna for some unknown reason wants a sword and shield. Specifically, a wooden shield that I find out about by eavesdropping on a couple of the villagers (and then scaring them away), and the sword that I was going to take to Hyrule Castle. I've no idea why she wants them as she's got no idea how to use them!
But there's more! Link is still a wolf, so it's back into the Twilight to restore the light spirit of Faron (presumably a reference to Farore - TP is full of little callbacks to past games, OoT in particular). The bug hunt is straightforward enough, though the battle with the first group of Twilight... things is a bit of a pain as Midna initially refuses to help and you have to take down the last two together otherwise the last one screams at you and resurrects its friends. Fortunately Wolf Link gets a neat combo attack for multiple enemies.
Finally, after all that Link gets restored to human, and as is traditional in Zelda games gets the Hero's green tunic and is revealed to be the legendary hero. And there's even more plot - Link has to match the power of the king of shadows, and to do so needs this forbidden power that does bad things to non-Twilight-people. Which of course has no chance of going horribly wrong...